A heart-centered maverick, living on Whidbey Island since 2000.
After 81 years, a work in progress and still trying to figure it all out!
My mission is to make a positive difference by sharing my view of life sensibilities.
My hope is my words will make a positive difference for you. Nothing more!
Your comments at the end of each article are important as your thoughts
help me tweak the course and “steer the ship” in a sound direction!
Be Yourself!
I came into this life longing to be grown up, to be like an “older” person, which meant anyone older than myself. I recall in grade school looking up to older kids, any older kid!
I silently searched for how and who to be, trying to emulate the older kids I looked up to.
I learned from my parents, aunts, uncles, and anyone I came across. School teachers, Sunday school teachers. Church minister(s). Other kids at the park and many more, especially as I got into the workplace. I continued to learn and gather new ways to be.
Usually, because I admired other people, I wanted to be like them. Copy their style, look, approach, success, etc. To “fit in!”
As I look back, I unconsciously gathered an inventory of traits and behaviors from those interacted with to create my unique self. I became an amalgamation of it all, representing who I “wished or thought” I would like to be.
On a deeper level, I sought to live harmoniously with others, looking to be rooted in love and the common good, striving for connection with kindred spirits, friends, and community.
Adding to the mix, throwing in ego, and adopting the occasional dubious traits or behavior, I ended up with a unique potpourri of beliefs, characteristics, and behaviors.
If I’m not mistaken, each of us has followed a similar path to creating who we are today? Each of us, with different traits, is a unique version of a grown-up person, no matter how old we are. It begs the question, have I, or have we, chosen wisely?
So, when someone suggests “be yourself,” I ask, what does that really mean? I am who I am! If this is not it, how do I find my true self among everything I’ve adopted to fit in and gain a personal sense of beingness and fulfillment? And, after all these years, how can I deny who I have become?
At the core, who am I? Who are we? According to the Bible, we were all created in God’s image. It seems like a perfect way to start life, an empty vessel. Pure? Untarnished? If so, how do I connect or reconnect with the purity of the God source within?
My thoughts are undoubtedly skewed by the facade of my mind’s interpretation of who I created myself to be. There is no simple answer! How can I connect with that inner sense of knowingness, my very unadulterated essence, while denying or bypassing my mind and what I think?
Speaking from my heart seems to be the closest to being my true self. The big question is, how can I live day-to-day coming from my heart? How do I even know that what I am communicating is from my heart?
Be Yourself!
As I matured, I’ve learned to rely on an inner source of knowingness or rightness as I speak or write. When I sense unease while speaking or writing, it is my signal to stop and check-in with myself. Am I speaking from my heart? Is that what I really meant to say? Usually, when I sense that unease, my ego is trying to impress, making me look good.
On numerous occasions, I have sensed that subtle unease with something I’ve said or written. When it happens, unease acts like a trigger for me to stop and correct myself by saying, let me reframe what I just said; that’s not what I meant. This is what I meant to say. When I reframe, I believe I speak my truth and more from my heart than my ego. I also remain vigilant, asking myself, am I listening more than talking? Am I listening to my heart?
Am I listening to what others are sharing? I learn and grow by listening!
Within my inventory of traits and behaviors from those I’ve interacted with, I created my unique self with an understanding of right from wrong. This includes being in integrity, holding myself accountable, remaining humble, and constantly checking in about who and how I am being.
As I look back, it began with an honest self-evaluation and taking responsibility for who and how I was living.
My first significant shift was to stop judging others negatively and to look for the good. I soon found that looking for what was wrong kept me in a negative soup. Converse, when I looked for the good and found it, my life got so much better.
That was an important lesson! It taught me how profound a change of perspective could be.It reinforced my perspective on taking personal responsibility! If I want more friends, it's up to me to be more friendly! If I want more love, it's up to me to be more loving and share my passion!
What is it you want? It's up to you!
Speaking from this knowingness is especially challenging when I encounter people who are rigidly self-absorbed in a facade of self-importance or arrogance. While rare, I sometimes react too quickly when affronted by someone of a know-it-all nature—still learning!
Coming from a place of love and practicing the following behaviors, I am more fulfilled and discover so many others on their path of heart-centered lives:
* Thinking positively
* Not judging harshly.
* Practicing humility and compassion.
* Speaking from my heart.
* Choosing kindness.
* Not being self-important, arrogant, or ego-driven.
Be Yourself!
Acting on these behaviors, all within the context of Helene’s and my faith, has created and sustained our reality. Aside from life’s occasional challenges, ours is fun-loving and stressfree. Thoughts and behaviors do create reality!
With life’s ongoing roller coaster, our relationship is sustained by living in harmony, respecting each other for who we are, and being heart-centered cheerleaders for one another, as well as others.
The bottom line for us: Given we are each 81 and reasonably healthy, we continue to be madly in love, loving who we are together, and literally having the time of our lives!
It’s never too late to consciously check in with who you've become and consider enhancing your reality and consciously striving to “Be Yourself!”
Ron Roesler
rroesler@whidbey.com
